Patt Vs. Hathaway

When I was a child my sister and I spent countless hours being babysat by the television. While we frequently had differences of opinions about what shows to watch, we always agreed on one thing: If we were watching the Beverly Hillbillies, if and when Jane Hathaway were to appear we must, at all costs, change the channel. For years this woman has haunted me. I’m not sure if it was her ridged personality towards Mr. Drysdale, poor sense of fashion taste, or weird New England accent, but something always struck a nerve.

Years passed and I forgot about Jane Hathaway, that was until Esther Patt came along. Can we not state the obvious here, but let’s take a look. General appearance is a spitting image, personality (from little there is) seems on, and overall pessimism seems right on the money. Can we contribute her letter to the editor as another “stick in the mud” Esterism, or is she backing up her buddy Laurel? Probably both.

Going cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds.

Wild turkeys may not have been the choice for the national symbol (as Benjamin Franklin wanted), but are undoubtedly a valuable resource for the City of Urbana. Studies have demonstrated that turkeys are an important insect consumer, thus benefiting crop fields, lawns, gardens and farmers more than most realize. Beetles, weevils, dragonflies and larvae are common turkey treats. They also consume spiders, harvestmen, ticks, millipedes, centipedes, snails and slugs. And who wants those things around? As we all know, the mayor of Urbana finds it necessary to call in the feds to take care of these atrocious bug-eating birds. I wonder how much this venture is going to cost the city. You know, I spotted a rare snowy owl twice on Race Street. Maybe we should call the Feds in for that one too. I wish my tax dollars were put to a better use. I’m going to miss those cute birdies.

http://www.kidzone.ws/animals/turkeypuzzle.htm