When you think of outdoor festivals certain foods come to mind: cotton candy, funnel cakes, French fries, lemon shake-ups. Most of these foods are relatively easy to eat. Usually they are served on sticks, in cups with straws, or of the fried variety (typical finger food). Which brings me to my point: This weekend marks the 31st annual Downtown Urbana Sweetcorn Festival. Sweetcorn of all foods should not be the inspiration for a festival. There are many reasons for this and a main one being that it is one of the least fair friendly foods ever created.
The whole act of eating corn on the cob is particularly unattractive and should never be done on a first date. First, the eater holds the soaking wet ear of corn in their hands where they then spread on gobs of melted margarine and salt. By the time you even get the corn to your mouth your shirt is most likely peppered with drips of oleo. Eating corn on the cob also requires one to bend their back at a near 90-degree angle so to not get corn and butter juice runoff from the chin to other parts of the body. If that wasn’t bad enough, once you have finished your corn and you’ve wiped the excess kernels from your cheeks, there are the pesky kernels that have permanently lodged themselves into the crevices of your teeth.
Now, I have attended the Urbana Sweetcorn Festival on several occasions, and while I’ve succumbed to the temptation of drinking beer behind neon orange snow fencing at 10am, I have never once had the urge to eat the sweetcorn predominantly due to it’s messy nature. Now maybe if they called it the Key Lime Pie on a Stick Festival ,I might be interested…
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