So anyway, the plan was for me to do 105 things that stink about CU and Katie was going to do 105 things that are good about the twin cities. Right, well I had 20 for awhile and finally worked my way up to 31, but it's summer vacation and I don't have AC so my critical thinking skills have melted. Anyway. Here are 31. And, I'm not really such a pessimist; I just play one on TV. I'll get the rest of them sometime.
105 things that stink about C-U
1. That Downtown Urbana Meter Maid… You know, the one with the dreads. I think we all agree that she takes her job a little too seriously and really needs to cut us some slack.
2. 4th of July Parade. Since when was it the norm to have every cement truck, fire truck, and city bus in the tri-county area in the parade? No wonder it lasts 4 hours.
3. The Buzz. Probably the worst thing ever published. Unlike our blog, very little content, a whole lot of fluff. ;)
4. The 6 months of snow. I know, it makes you appreciate summer that much more, but I think I would appreciate it without the tundra.
5. The High Dive. What was once a cool venue for live music is now an extension of Kams.
6. Lincoln Square Mall. Where do I start? I heard that a long time ago it was a place where you could actually shop. Weird!
7. Trucker hats. A fad that went out of style 5 years ago everywhere else in the nation, but for some reason lingers on in the twin cities.
8. Parking on campus. One of the single most impossible things to do ever and every parking lot is private. What gives?!
9. Snow plows. How long does it really take to plow a street? Why must I wait for days to be able to drive down the road?
10. Channel Three News. Every time I watch there is a whole new cast of anchors. I miss the days of Ed Kelly, Dave Shaw, and Suzanne Reed. I’m starting to sound a little negative, huh?
11. Topography. No hills, no mountains, no water. No, the Boneyard creek doesn’t count! All we’ve got is corn! Giddy up!
12. Fighting Illini Football. A record as bad as the Cubs, but without the diehard fans.
13. The rat traps outside Weinerschnitzel. An event which marked my first and last trip to the schnitzel.
14. The hideous mural at the intersections of Neil and Green St. So, ummm… why don’t any of the people have faces? Were they too hard to paint on? It just looks weird.
15. Fall. I like fall and everything, but our fall last approximately 4.2 hours, and at that point the temperature drops from a cool 70 degrees to a frigid 42 degrees. I hate it.
16. Kraft fumes. Ugh. Whenever the wind blows southeast, lookout Champaign-Urbana!
17. Those orange ladybugs that aren’t even really ladybugs. I was driving one day and one of those things flew into my face and bit me. It made me bleed. Those things are pure evil.
18. Crane Alley. This bar had a lot of potential when it first opened, but ended up being lame. Snooty staff, disgusting bathrooms, and what happened to all the chairs in the alley? There used to be 80, now there are 20. I think they got stolen.
19. The string of shootings. It seems every night when I turn on the news someone or another is getting shot. Not a good trend.
20. Lack of pinball machines. It used to be that every bar had a pinball machine. Now there are like two bars in all of CU with pinball machines. Come on, those things are fun!
21. Stupid UIUC students that walk in front of cars/buses. I’ve seen ‘em, you’ve seen ‘em and if you like me, you’ve prolly come close to hitting one of ‘em. They need to take their earphones out and look both ways.
22. Seth Fein. It just makes me sad to see someone that I grew up with, who I knew was taught to be accepting of all people, turn out to be such a jerkface.
23. Those furry boots all the girls on campus wear. I think They’re called Uggs. They should really be called Uglys.
24. The person who smashed in my car window with a baseball bat in 2002 on Hill St. in Champaign. You suck.
25. Taco Bell on University Ave. Most possibly the slowest fast food joint ever. Can it really even be considered fast food if it takes 45 minutes to get your order? No.
26. Whoever made fireworks illegal. It’s pretty lame, but it’s not like we actually follow this law anyway.
27. The bike shop on campus. First they don’t even usually open until after 1pm. And the guy that owns this place is totally eccentric. I've actually been scared to take my bike there.
28. The Independent Media Center. I’ve never seen an organization run by such crazy people in my life. These people have nothing better to do except move from protest to protest. That is not a hobby.
29. Where did the Ice Deli go? It was the best place to go to on a hot summer day and now it’s nowhere to be found. I miss you Ice Deli.
30. The “Spare Anything?” Guy. I can’t tell you how many times that guy has appeared out of nowhere and scared me on his girls Huffy. Now he sports a $500 Trek.
31. Summer softball leagues. I know there a few teams still out there, but what happened to each bar having like 10 teams. Once I got old enough to be on them, they disappeared. :(
I know I appear to be a total bitch now, but I’m not. It was really hard for me to think up 31 lame things. The rest are going to be even harder.
To all these things that stink, I forgive you.
