Barbie Dolls for the Greater Champaign market:

These will be hitting the local toy store shelves soon, so save up kids!


" Rantoul Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.





" Chester Street Barbie/Ken"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.




" Urbana Campus Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Yellow Springs Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.



" Villagrove Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Villagrove Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.




" Sidney Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

" West Champaign Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

" Southeast Urbana Barbie"

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.




" Urbana Barbie"

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

" Savoy Barbie"

This princess Barbie is sold only at Fairfield Commons Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

SUFFICIENT ICE ACCUMULATION

an update from the national weather service. Hopefully it will miss up like the last big storm that came through. None the less it still sucks! Be safe out there!

AN ARCTIC COLD FRONT WILL PUSH EAST THROUGH CENTRAL ILLINOIS TODAY...WITH TEMPERATURES TURNING SHARPLY COLDER IN THE WAKE OF THE FRONT. A FEW UPPER LEVEL DISTURBANCES WILL RIDE ALONG THE FRONTAL BOUNDARY TODAY AND TONIGHT...CAUSING WAVES OF RAIN TO DEVELOP ACROSS CENTRAL ILLINOIS. FREEZING RAIN WILL DEVELOP BY LATE THIS AFTERNOON INTO THIS EVENING AS TEMPERATURES DROP BELOW32 DEGREES BEHIND THE FRONT. THE CHANGE OVER FROM RAIN TO FREEZING RAIN IS EXPECTED TO OCCUR BY LATE AFTERNOON ALONG AND WEST OF THE ILLINOIS RIVER VALLEY...AND BY EARLY EVENING ALONG AND WEST OF THE I-55 CORRIDOR. SIGNIFICANT ICE ACCUMULATIONS ARE NOT EXPECTED AT THIS TIME.HOWEVER...THERE WILL BE SUFFICIENT ICE ACCUMULATION ON AREA ROADS...PARKING LOTS AND SIDEWALKS TO MAKE TRAVEL CONDITIONS DIFFICULT.

Question of the day...

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Oh do I love ponderables! This is a fun one with a fairly simple answer. It all comes down to economics. It doesn’t make sense for a needle manufacturer to create unsterile needles. The market for lethal injections is incredibly small. In 2006, there were 52 executions. Out of those 52, 51 were executed by lethal injections. Typically (I did my research for this entry!) there are two IVs administered to the patient. One serves as a back-up in case there is a problem with the first IV (and there have been plenty, check out this website: http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/article.php?scid=8&did=478 ) That means there were about 102 needles needed nation wide for the purposes of execution.

102 is a very small number. Needles are often purchased by organizations such as hospitals, clinics, institutions and even prisons by the gross, and thousand. It’s common knowledge that buying in bulk will save consumers money. Therefore buying a second type, and smaller amount, of needles besides the typical sterile would only be more costly. Manufacturers would be required to add a new method of production, labeling, marketing etc. All of these being very costly. Even if these needles were acquired free of charge, people would have to pay special attention as to where these unsafe needles were as to not cross contaminate them with safe needles. Imagine what could happen if dirty needles were placed with sterile needles! Handlers of these needles must also take great caution. A possible costly lawsuit awaits with the prick of a finger.

While the thought of using a sterile needle for a lethal injection seems silly, it is more economical and safe for the handlers in the long run. A boring answer to a fun question!

That's so graphic!

Katie and I have been working on a graphic novel. Now, by graphic we don’t mean dirty, like a porn novel, or anything like that. A graphic novel is a novel whose narrative is related though a combination of text and art and commonly found in comic strip form. Like a really big comic book, except our comic isn’t about a superhero or fighting or anything like that. It’s more about life events. Anyway, it’s still in the basic stages, but we’re working on it! It is going to be really cool and I’m excited!

So far we're working out the writing and I've started drawings ideas for characters. This project has the potential to sit on the shelf for years like other things we've started, but I'm personally going to try to get this one going... Who knows what will happen though.